Breaking the Habit
by Anime Onnanoko
Summary: Kai's depressed and has been doing something to keep his mind off of it. But now the Bladebreakers have found out what he's been doing, but will they stop him? Oneshot


Well here is my first sonfic, I was gonna do one from time but I didn't know what song to do it on, so I did it on Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.

"Blah" – talking

'Blah' – thinking

**Change of place/time **

**Chapter 1**

_Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again_

Kai sat there in the room he and Ray shared, staring at the raindrops slipping down the glass. The he heard lightning illuminated the window while moments after you could hear thunder's cackle.

He lent his hot forehead on the cool glass of the window. They had locked him in there and taken it away, after Ray had found out. He had tried to stop him but failed. So he took it away and was now telling the others.

_You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

**Outside the room**

"We've got to help him you guys." Said Ray, after he had told them what Kai had been doing.

"But why was he doing it in the first place?" asked Max. Ray shrugged. "I tried to ask him, but he wouldn't answer."

"But he's doing it just to self-harm right, he doesn't want to kill himself does he?" asked a worried Hilary.

"I real worried about him you guys," said Tyson. Max, Ray, Hilary and Kenny nodded in agreement.

"Are you sure, he's only got one" asked Kenny.

Ray nodded, "why would he have two anyway?"

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
Cuz inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

Kai had, had enough; he jumped off the chair and ripped everything out of his bag and pulled out a fiery red case taking the other one out. Then he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut tightly locking it behind him.

They all turned to stare at the closed bedroom door.

"What was that?" asked Max as the five teens still staring at the door.

"I dunno, but is sounded like a door slamming or something" said Ray, "the bathroom door!"

"What's so good about the bathroom door?" asked Tyson.

"He's most probably locked himself in there so he could find something else to hurt himself with" said Kenny.

Ray rushed to the door unlocked it saw that Kai's stuff was strewn all over the floor and that there was a red case on the floor and there was a shape where it had been. Ray gasped.

"What?" asked Tyson as he barged past Max and Kenny.

"But I thought you took it off him?" asked Max

"I did," replied Ray, "but it seems that he did have another one

Kai sat on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom with it in his hands, staring at the white tiled wall.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean_

'Should I do it? No I shouldn't, because then I would be taking the coward's way out. But it feels so good. They already know so there's really no point, because they can help me right? No what am I saying, they won't help me, they never would. They're just gonna laugh at me and call me weak for what I've been doing. I might as well just get it over and done with'

Max walked up to the brown oak door and knocked three times. "Kai, are you in there? Come out please, we wanna help you."

Kai heard this and tried to block it out but couldn't as someone else started to speak.

_I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

"Kai buddy. Please come out. We really wanna help you" said Tyson. "Yeah Kai, we wanna know why you've been doing this to yourself it's not right" said Ray.

_Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again_

"Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it," repeated Kai getting louder each time.

He'd had enough he pushed the blade down on his wrist and pulled across his skin making a long line, and the crimson liquid slowly dripping down his arm He sighed before doing it another 3 times. He sighed and leaned against the cold tiled wall while the crimson liquid continued to drip down his arm onto the floor making a small puddle.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

Tyson banged on the door which startled Kai and caused him to drop it onto the tiled floor making a small yet audible noise to be heard on the other side of the door.

"What was that?" asked Tyson quickly. "I dunno, sounded like he dropped something" said Kenny.

Tyson continued to bang on the door shouting, "Come on Kai, we don't wanna hurt you we just wanna help."

"That's it; people don't want to help just to hurt" whispered Kai, as he got ready to do it again.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean_

"Wait stop, maybe if we go away he might come out" said Max.

"Yeah that might work" agreed Ray.

"But he could think that we've given up, and continue to do it," said Hilary.

"But what if we just stay quiet, knowing Kai he might get curious as to what we might be saying, and he might open the door a little bit giving us the chance to try and open the door fully," said Ray.

"But he could push it closed again, and refuse to come out for the rest of the evening" reasoned Kenny.

"Yeah but with all of us pushing I don't think so chief" said Tyson. "But he is quite strong Tyson" said Max. Ray just nodded.

Kai could hear them talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. So he moved closer, and caught his name in their conversation.

He shrunk away from the door.

'They must be talking about how weak I am. They're not gonna miss me if I'm gone right? What are you saying of course they would they're your friends. No they're not that's what they want you to think'

"Shut up" fiercely whispered Kai.

_I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

Kai again pushed the blade down again, and pulled it across 3 times, in the same place making it deeper and wider, with more of that red liquid spilling out. Kai hissed, and felt a bit dizzy, as he leant against the wall.

'Should I do it? But I want to stop. But I don't know how. I've gone too far. I need help…their help. No you don't why would they help you, like you said before they would just laugh at you. No they wouldn't, they will help you they are your friends, and they do really care about you. Yeah right, go on who cares, I bet they're just gonna leave you there to die anyway. No they won't, they are going to help you. Then they're just gonna hurt you again, like they always do.'

"Shut up" Said Kai through gritted teeth.

'No you're wrong, you're beating yourself up over nothing, they are going to help you, and they do care about. Don't listen to that crap, they don't care about you, they aren't going to help you. You know I'm right, go on just do it, it won't hurt I promise. No, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, NO, YES, NO, YES, NO, YES!'

"SHUT UP" shouted Kai as crawled over to the sink his arm leaving a trail of red all the way to the sink.

"Hey guys, did you hear that?" asked Tyson, as he pressed his ear to the door as he might hear anything else. The others nodded.

Ray pushed Tyson out of the way, and knocked on the door. "Kai, are you alright? And who were you talking to?"

Kai heard this and turned around to face the door what was he supposed to say.

Kai got up with the help of the sink and turned to look at the mirror, cold lifeless crimson eyes staring back at him. 'And to think I was once a carefree child. Was, was the key word here.'

'I'm so confused; I don't know what to do. I just want it all to stop, right here and now. But should I do it? Of course you should, you know you want to. No don't, if you just talk to them, they could help you. No they wouldn't, they would just throw it back in your face like they always so, and then say it's your fault that this happened, or that this went wrong. No they won't, they really want to help you.'

"Please stop, please" whispered Kai, as he slid down to the bottom of the sink blood from his arm mingling with his hair.

'If they wanted to help, why are you in here in the first place? It is hard to talk to people about your problems; you can't just go out right and say it. And if they didn't want to help then why are they outside the door, waiting for you to come out. They're only there because they want to shout at you when you come out. No, that's not true. Yes it is, and you know I'm right. No it's not, yes it is, not it's not, yes it is, no it's not, yes it is, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, NO, YES, NO, YES.

"JUST SHUT UP PLEASE, please" pleaded Kai, clutching his head even tighter.

"Is he talking to himself?" asked Max. Ray shrugged.

_I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends_

Kai got up and lent against the sink for support again staring at his cold emotionless face. He had, had enough of staring at his own pitiful image and smashed the glass as not to see it any more.

Kai stared at his now bloody hand, and punched the wall with it, smearing blood on the wall, his blood. But it didn't hurt; he wanted it to hurt, to take away the pain and sorrow.

He shook his head turned around looking for it; he saw it there gleaming on the white tiled floor stained with blood, his blood. He picked it up, and stared at it.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
to show you what I mean_

He crept over to the door, unlocking it quietly as not to be heard, but unlucky for him Ray had heard it.

"Ssshh you guys, he just unlocked the door" Whispered Ray. The others nodded and got closer.

"This is the only way to stop. I can't ask for help because I'll seem to weak, I can't stop by myself as I'm too weak for that as well. This is only way out" said Kai to himself.

Kai placed the blade over his chest as was about to plunge it in when his knees gave way and he fell backwards against the bath.

The guys had heard this.

Kai heard them move, and closed his eyes and pushed it in, but felt no pain. He opened his eyes and saw Ray holding his bloodied arm, with a worried Tyson, Max, Hilary and Kenny behind him.

Kai closed his eyes and refused to look at them, but he gathered up all his strength and shakily saying, "I want to stop…please help me"

The others smiled.

_I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

Well I hope you enjoyed it. Longest chapter ever 10 pages.

Please R&R, that button is just waiting to be pushed.

Bye


End file.
